Friend Fiction: A Black Hole At the Assylum Bar Chapter #1: "Decorating for Halloween at The Assylum, 1994". By: MR. OMAR KING

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"Decorating for Halloween at the Asylum, 1994"

When it came to Halloween Georgie would go all out at the Asylum: Streamers; rubber creepy crawlies; buckets of candies; and wild costume parties. You name it, she did it. The lunatics would do their best to help, but the nurses would step in and do most of the heavy work. And when decorating was over, she would gather the gang together and take a picture of the beautiful Halloween scenery in the Asylum. Come on Franny, get a little closer into frame; camera can’t capture half of you, said Georgie. Come on Frances, what the hell are you doing there? Leave that skeleton alone and get into Frame. I’m sorry, Michelle, I couldn’t help myself, I wanted to be with Mr. Skeleton. He wants me. Oh brother, she is attached to another piece of plastic, again. Jack shut up; you’re ruining the picture! Feck you, Michelle; you can’t tell me what to do. And before Georgie took the picture; the gang she called to gather for it: split up. Leaving Franny alone to be with the plastic skeleton. It’s just you and I, Mr. Skeleton. And then Georgie would have to remind Frances that Mr. Skeleton is not real and would rather be left alone until the big night: Halloween. I can’t, Nurse Georgie; he wants me; don’t you see his eyes looking at me. It’s romantic. I’m sorry, honey; you have to leave him alone; he’s not real. HE IS REAL! HE IS REAL! Frances, calm down. NO, YOU CALM DOWN, BITCH! Frances, you are a good girl; I am shocked by your behavior; I think it’s time for you to go to your room. NO-NO, I AM NOT A LITTLE GIRL! I AM 69 YEARS OLD, AND I HAVE A RIGHT TO LEAVE OR STAY! I DEMAND SOME RESPECT! How can somebody respect you when you’re speaking in that tone? Please Frances, be reasonable and let go of that skeleton; you’re suffocating him. He doesn’t want to be buried in your breast. HE’S LONELY! I’M GIVING HIM A HUG! I WON’T LISTEN TO YOU, LADY! I WON’T- I WON’T! Georgie would have to call the orderlies to come and get Frances and take her to her room; she didn’t want to do it; she had no choice. Thank you for coming as fast as you can, Zac; you are a lifesaver. No problem, Nurse. I’m glad I came just in time before Frances’ big temper tantrum. LISTEN, NURSE GEORGIE, I’M SORRY! I WON’T BE A BAD GIRL! I PROMISE! I’LL BE A GOOD GIRL FOR YOU! I WILL- I WILL! PLEASE DON’T LET THEM TAKE ME AWAY! Come on, Frances, time for your nap. PLEASE!!!! 

Franny would’ve made a big mess of the decorations that would lead the nurses to clean it up and re-do it again before the night of the party. And then Georgie would have to ask Nurse Blossom to watch her in her room; making sure she won’t wander off and make it uncomfortable for the lunatics. And you wonder why they call me “Nurse  Ratched”. I get it, hon, you had a tough evening with that pesky Frances.  If anything, you’re nicer than that Ratched woman. Thanks, Gerr. You want a drag of this? Nah, I’m not in the mood for a cigarette right now, Gerr. But thanks for offering. No problem, hon. I thought I’d ask. Hey, how are you and Robert doing?  Got any plans to go out somewhere on Halloween? Honestly, Gerri; I have no idea? He’s been busy with work and so have I with planning the Halloween party coming up. It’s tough when we have something going on and  our professional lives get in the way. I mean, I like to think that it’s our professional lives, I mean if it’s something else; I would understand; just need to know what it is? Georgie, you need to stop over thinking and just relax. I mean, Halloween is coming; isn’t that exciting? I guess. Georgie  contemplates on the time that Robert brought her flowers  while she was serving a spoon full of chicken soup into one of the older residents of the Asylum’s mouth. She accidently spilled some of it on his lap. WATCH WHERE YOU GOING WITH THAT YOU OLD BITCH! YOU BURNED MY LAP! Are those for me? Yes, my sweet Georgie; I found these on my way back to the ward and when I saw them, I thought of you. Aww- you’re too kind, Doctor. No; call me Robert. Okay, Robert.  AHHHHH BURNS! It was a very sweet moment for Georgie. At her age, she never expected to find love; not even with a doctor who is years younger than her. I mean, she is no cougar or anything; Robert is not that young, but young enough to learn new things, and old enough to know not to make trouble for himself or anybody else. They would go out for little luncheons here and there. But there wouldn't be anything serious going on between the both of them. Sex was not in involved. The idea of marriage was not involved. So what of it? I don’t know, Gerri? He never bothered to ask me to marry him; or go to his place for a glass of wine. Not sure where he is leading me in this relationship. It would be nice to know. It would also be nice to finally get hitched. My god, after all of those years working at the asylum; at this point you should consider me to be Mother Teresa. Shut up, Gerr! I’m just saying. If he ain’t gonna bother to ask you out again, then why consider marrying him? You are probably better off without him. What the hell am I listening to you for; you never got married. I’m very proud not to be, thank you very much, Georgie.

 The sound of  squeaky footsteps approaches the courtyard. Gerri, put that cigarette out; nurse blossom is coming. Nurse Blossom approaches the two ladies on what’s left of their 15-minute break: bowl of trail mix, cigarettes, Playgirl magazine, and despair: FUN! Hello, ladies, I see we are chit-chatting on our break. What are we talking about? Oh nothing, Ms. Blossom; just how excited we are for that Halloween party coming up at the Asylum. Oh, well that’s good to know. What can we do for you? Nothing, really. Just came out here to take a breath before I go back inside. Tough day, for you? Absolutely. I had a long day today. And a much longer evening with Frances (thanks a lot, Georgie.) trying to calm her down in her room. I had to sit next to her. Hold her. Rub her shoulders and pretended to be her mother. Eventually she gave in when I told her that I have some “My Little Pony” coloring pages and crayons on my desk. She was thrilled. She cried and said, “You’re the only one who is nice to me around here.” to which I replied “Surely, I can’t be the only one that likes you. Perhaps Nurse Georgie and the staff and the rest of the Lunatics at the Asylum love you very much. She doesn’t want you to make a mess of the decoration before The Halloween party begins.” She planted her face on my chest and hugged me and said with her sweet and innocent way  “But they don’t like me. They don’t want me around. They think I’m retarded and that I am a useless thing to be thrown away. Nurse Georgie and Lurid don't like me. He said it himself. He told the other nurses that I was retarded and that I am always a pain in the ass. And he said that Nurse Georgie agrees with him. I should have never existed.” What? Why would you say that, Georgie. I never said anything like that. Lurid must be high or something. I would never agree with the things Lurid says out of his ass. When he talks out of his ass, trouble sturrs. And that’s what he is trying to do. Well, whatever it is, Georgie; I think it’s messed up that Lurid or even you would say such things and make our resident lunatics feel like shit. You of all people should understand their point of view and where they are coming from. They’re not just crazy. And they never were to begin with. Just misunderstood. They  have a way of thinking differently. They behave differently. Speak differently. Or even look different than most of us. But they’re not crazy nor monsters. You understand. Yes, Blossom, I do. So, before you even say a word about these folks; think about what you’re going to say. Fecking Lurid, always talking shit. What was that? Nothing. I said, “I agree with you.”. That is what I thought I heard. Jesus, Blossom, now you’re starting to act like my mother and we’re the same age. Oh god, you’re right. I’m sorry, hon, I guess being in that room with Frances; trying to calm her down; and hearing what they said about her; got me worked up a little. I think I do need a drag of that cigarette; do you mind, Gerri? Not at all. Come have a seat with us, doll. We’re skimming through this Playgirl Magazine. Are we even allowed to have this? Nope. But truth be told; nobody gives a shit around here. Doesn't matter if we get caught with this?  It isn’t hurting anybody, is it? No, not really, to be frank. Then put your guard down and live a little, Lady! We’re old and unappreciated. Precisely ostracized from society. Who cares if we read material such as Playgirl mag? It’s not like we’re gonna get any at our age, are we? Georgie is barely getting any from her young boyfriend; I have nobody to come home to; and you, Blossom, do you have somebody special in your life that you are smitten with? That’s true, Blossom, do you have anybody you love? That’s a tough question to answer, ladies; you’re putting me on the spot over a magazine. No, I don’t; all I have is this job and a dog at home waiting for me in my one-bedroom apartment. Not sure if I can coin my personal life at home depressing because of the solitude I deal with? It’s suffocatingly comfortable. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy  my solitude at home. I like to crank my television set on and watch Sally Jessy Raphael come on. I think she’s better than Oprah. I don’t have anything against her; she seems like a wonderful lady; but I prefer Sally. I’ve watched her show before Oprah came on. Been a real good company to me. I wouldn’t trade her for any other show. Although, I am keen on the Different Strokes show. I just love seeing that little Arnold telling his older brother Willis off. Quite the cute character. It helps snuff the silence at home. That is so fecking depressing, Blossom. You need to get a life; get laid or something. Gerri, hush up. But I do have a life. I think we all do. And that is? Here. We’ve been working here for so long. And seen so many people come and go. We are a few of many folks that are still sticking around this joint. And when that Halloween party comes around the corner; it will add another year to being here. A milage of the many Halloweens and thanksgivings and Christmases we spent here in the Asylum. We are truly a family. And this place is no longer standing tall. I will greatly be proud to stand tall with it and say, “I had my run” and then demolished. I think I’d prefer to be demolished than spending another lifetime in solitude. Now, I see that I am being grim here; I apologize. How about that Magazine, huh? Yes, let’s take a looksie, shall we? Oh, look at that. He has a face that any fat fanny would like to sit on. Sweet Jesus, where is his hair? I like them with hair.

Pudgy balding man, Jack Lurid, sitting at his desk; reading through paperwork and occasionally slipping his file cabinet open to look at a page or two of a Playboy magazine he bought at the liquor store. Reading through Important stuff and trash before he clocks out. A typical evening in his office. Oh lord Jesus, thank you for being a kind and generous god for allowing such beauties to walk amongst us mortals. Look at their legs, tits, and lips; I could just eat them up. Page flip. Oh my god; she has no hair on this page! Is it possible to shave that thing? Yup, it is. Closing his blinders and turning the lamp on; he unzips his pants and begins to play with himself while looking through the Playboy pages. He is having his 7 minute or 10 minutes of glory with those sexy girls on the page. He started off stroking his member gently, but then decided to go rough in short minutes. He imagines himself in bed with those women. Pounding his cock into their cunts to be closer and closer to heaven. One girl with short blond hair, and mauve eyeshadow got Lurid splooging in his tissue, and moaning like a bitch. For he was at that moment. A bitch to those Playboy girls who don’t even know him in real life, and yet holds power over him. What they desire; lurid would be determined to accomplish it. He would even get on his knees; and have the short hair girl sit and ride on him; and have him say such foolish things. Such as: Court Jester is having a grand time, madame. SHUT UP, MAGGOTT! DID I TELL YOU TO SPEAK?! No! I WILL TELL YOU WHAT TO SAY AND WHEN TO SPEAK! YOU DON’T MAKE THE DESCISIONS, SLAVE! PLEASE, MADAME; I’M SORRY; DON’T HURT ME ANYMORE THEN YOU ALREADY HAVE! I WON’T DO IT AGAIN! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!  SHUT  UP!   SHUT UP!     SHUT UP!       SHUT   UP!!! LURID?! Are you alright in there? What- who is it?! He struggles to zip his fly fast enough before whoever it is knocking on his door comes in and catches him in the act. It’s Georgie, I need to speak to you. Georgie? Yes? What do you  want? I’m busy. Open that door; I know you’re not busy. I heard your moaning and spouting out gibberish in there; you fool. I can’t right now. Yes you can. If you can spout shit and play with yourself; then you can certainly open this door and speak to me. Didn’t think I heard that, but I did. Open the door! Georgie didn’t feck around, she knows bullshit when she sees it and hears it. Diddler was a diddler. Why all that extra stuff to cover his tracks. Fine. Thank you. Come in. Where can I sit? Over there. He points his finger at the green leathered chair. I hope you didn’t make  a mess on it with your  love  juice. Oh shut up and say what you need to say. Fine. Nurse Blossom told me that you confessed to her, saying that "old women (like me) should know their place in the Asylum". Is that true? Yes I did say that. I’m gonna tell you something and you’re gonna listen whether you like it or not. Where do you get off mouthing trash about me behind my back? Just because you got promoted doesn’t make you better than anybody here in the Asylum. We are all rocking the same boat. If you don’t like it here, leave. That’s what you want don’t you? You want me to leave this place. You want all of us to leave. You know, ever since you worked here, you were nothing but a wise ass kid who doesn’t know better; and now look at you; a pathetic excuse of a man, losing his hair, worrying if he’s ever gonna get sex anytime soon; still doesn’t know any better. I got news for you; it aint gonna   happen. No girl will want to screw with an old man like you. You’re getting older, boy; it’s best that you get used to it. Well, not as old as you are. And I’m listening to you who haven’t even got her old cherry pop. You make me want to laugh when I come to work, old woman. Ha-ha! And remind me again; what kind of doctor, Robert is? He is a gynecologist. HA-HA-HA! That is too funny, lady! You’re seeing this guy and you haven’t gotten your cherry popped: HA! GEORGIE HASN’T GOT HER CHERRY POPPED- GEORGIE HASN’T GOT HER CHERRY POPPED! POPPED!   POPPPED!    POPPPPPED!! HA!   HA!     HA!     HAAAAA!!! She was going to mention the planning of the Halloween party, but there was no reason to stay after what Lurid said to Georgie, so she left him laughing his ass off.  Guys like that deserve to be left alone. Untouched. He is reasons why women murder or find themselves in bed with another person. They have no use in the world. Nothing to offer. Just a big blob of humiliation staining the world.